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| Source: Wikipedia |
A whiny, weepy farm girl annoys her aunt and uncle by bothering the three farm hands, who not-so-obscurely reference their Oz counterparts. The girl rescues her Cairn Terrier from a nasty old widow with nothing better to do than abuse dogs. Then the girl visits a sham psychic, who introduces her to happy lies, then a tornado, which introduces her to blunt force trauma.
Unfortunately, Dorothy survives, and wakes in the Technicolor land of Oz, whose effects blew minds three generations ago. Underpaid midget actors squawk doggerel and cavort about in absurd getups. The dubiously "good" witch, who travels via personalized rainbow bubble, sends Dorothy on a quest to Green Dildo Metropolis, hopefully to finish her off.
Clearly, the movie is about a covert assassination ploy, to erase the Dorothy and "wicked" witch via mutually assured destruction. Why? To maintain the Wizard's candy-coated totalitarian regime. Seriously, while the Munchkins slave away, the Emerald City dweebs work ONE HOUR every day. The bastards brag about it...in song.
In their journey, Dorothy and her far more intelligent dog garner an iconic collection of socially crippled nitwits. To solve their collective neuroses, they seek the Wizard-Ex-Machina, who turns out to be a flame-belching, smoke-burping, broccoli-headed hologram. The wrinkly old bullshit artist turns out to be a refreshing breath of hot air.
The wicked witch hams the hell out of her role, then dies stupidly.
The balance of camp, unforgettably dumb music, and unintentional nightmare fuel improbably result in a timeless children's classic.
Other weird details:
- The scarecrow carries a .45 revolver into the witch's castle
- The lion's an insomniac
- The trees suddenly ignore Dorothy when she discovers the Tin Man
- Speaking of Dorothy, she does nothing for the plot, which men and witches solve for her
- The film is dedicated to "The Young in Heart," which probably means Soft in Noggin
101 minutes.
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