IMDb #184: The 400 Blows (1959)

Source: Wikipedia

A prepubescent Parisian delinquent ravages his native France. Which might be interesting if the kid weren't dumb as a sack of bricks.

Presumably, the title refers to the four hundred slaps bestowed upon the boy. Every hit is almost justified, because he's behaving horribly to already horrible people. The harsh schoolmaster, the demanding mother, the temperamental father, each have their system of petty demands.

This kid is an awful student and a worse delinquent. He shamelessly plagiarizes a Balzac essay (which the class is studying at the time). When he gets tired of failing at school, he forges sick notes to play hooky. Not that his alternatives sound much more fun: fairground rides, puppet shows, black-and-white French movies. When he gets tired of his parents, he runs away -- at Christmas, when Europe's hella cold.

He and his blonde best bud indulge in underage smoking and drinking and...backgammon? Anyway, his bud keeps finding the anti-hero a crash pad (printing place? my place? sure!), and his reward is eternal separation from his best friend/charity case.

It doesn't help that the kid's an inveterate kleptomaniac. He takes what he likes when he likes: his parents' cash, unguarded milk, a typewriter, and the aforementioned Balzac passage. Not that the brat ever gets away with anything.

Other punishments include verb conjugations, movie tickets (surprise, prospective parents, rewarding shitty behavior doesn't work), the drunk tank, and an observational center for delinquent youth. Does any of this work? Well...

In juvie, the pint-sized sociopaths teach him smart crime. Such as painting himself in a positive light for psychological evaluations, and, more importantly, how to sneak out under the fence. Finally, the kid listens to someone for five minutes.

Being French, this film presumably aims for anticlimactic realism, and nails the target every time. The plonking, squawking soundtrack feels appropriate for the era. So does the plot, moving at the speed of nitro-injected escargot.

And because it's a French movie, no married couple can appear onscreen without a notable instance of infidelity. (DAMMIT, FRANCE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN TO MEET MY SHITTY EXPECTATIONS.)

99 minutes.